Well, the first thing I need to say in this post probably “Happy Belated New Year!” [blinking eyes happily]
How shameful of me to forget that I haven’t make any posts in this early 2019. I thought I’ve made one, but when my curiosity dragged me into scrolling on my latest posts on my blog, I realize that there’s no happy new year greeting post uploaded. [is that necessary, anyway?]
I watched a YouTube video a few days ago, about a boy that has been died in the inside [his soul dies] because of no affections and love from his family, friends, school, neighborhood. He’s lonely, alone, and depressed even though he doesn’t really looks depressed. His mom cursed on him everyday, his teacher yells on him everyday, telling him to not to learn on her class again. They’re both comparing him to his brothers, who are both already smart and successful. Yet afterwards I saw a comment said that he’s actually already dying inside.
He walks, he breathe, he eats, he drinks, he talks like we all do. But his soul is nowhere to be seen [I know we can’t see souls but you know what I mean, right?].
This really hits me hard on my heart. I got some writing inspirations from the video and decided to start a fresh-newly made project with a similar plot included. [please do help me pray I won’t leave this project behind after a few pages.
Anyway! I’ve been reading English web-novels this days, and one of them is a book about pastries and cakes. The brief explanation about the way the chef making the cakes is really detailed and delicate; Makes me feel like I’ve been drowning in a world full of cakes this days. This book makes my big mood for cooking reappear, alhamdulillah! Sadly I can’t do a recook of them since all of this cakes recipes needs an oven to bake it. We ever have an oven back then, which after being used to bake some fish, cannot be used anymore because of the stinging remaining smell on the inside of the oven. And yet because of our ignorance, we even washed the oven and the poor oven end up being damaged and can’t be used again thankfully for the same reason. [cries] actually it can be repaired, but my dad said the repairing fee costs the same as a new oven. [le me: is sad]
This morning, my mood is not that good because this is my second day of period, but after reading some another web-novels and crying, I got them mood back again.
Oh, and have I mentioned that I’ve been taking a hiatus for social medias [still excluding YouTube and Gmail, sadly] this days? I don’t play Twitter 24/7 anymore! I just mayhaps checked it for five minutes a day, in case probably some friends or ghosts misses me but whatever. The point is I have getting rid of my addiction to Twitter, but still can’t ignore YouTube and Spotify. Sighs.
And to mention another thing: I started to learn Mandarin. Quite [I swear, it’s really hard!] hard and I still can’t read any Pinyin words until now since I have a free-learning-schedule-which-is-not-too-good-for-someone-who-wants-to-be-productive, but I hope I can at least remembering the Pinyins at the end of the year. I don’t have any high expectations, since I still sucks learning Hangul and Kanji, Katakana and such.
Don’t you think wrote a post using Chinese here seems cool? [dabs]
Yet, I’m not that fluent in English so probably I need to sharpen it well before learning another languages.
Hence, see you later, then! I want to eat another bread. Please forgive me if I do some grammar errors here since I wrote this on my phone. [yah what an excuse, you’re usually being a grammar nazi brat and now you have a problem with your grammars?!]